Sunday, September 19, 2010

PELVIC PAIN, ANXIETY & THANKSGIVING

At 13 weeks pregnant I made a trip to the ER. When the triage nurse asked what I wanted to be seen for, it was hard to explain. The best I could come up with is, "My vagina hurts". Still, 9 weeks later, I have a hard time explaining it but after much thought I came up with this...

You know when you're about 12 years old and you think it's funny to ride on a littler kid's tricylce? So you hop on, your knees touching your elbows and you pedal like a mad man while the wheels peel out a few times underneath you. After a few seconds, the tricycle has had enough... it jumps out from in front of you! Bike goes forward [after your wheels finally get good traction] but your body doesn't move. WHAM! Your ass hits the concrete. Now, your tailbone is bruised and it hurts to walk for a week.

Yeah, it's something like that. Only, when that tricycle flew out from underneath me this time, somehow my vagina hit the concrete instead. Yes, it feels like I bruised my tailbone... in my vagina. Getting out of bed is painful, sitting at my computer desk hurts, making left or right turns in the car is uncomfortable. I asked the doctor about it, they have no answers. It's getting worse. It puts me in a bad mood!

I'm 22 weeks pregnant now, which normally leaves about 18 weeks left. However, I get to schedule my c-section 1-2 weeks earlier so I have about 16-17 weeks left. I'm excited. I want to hold my baby, I want to witness the love and passion in my husband's eyes when he holds his beautiful creation, I want to see Nathyn shine when he finally meets his little brother.

Every time I think about the birth of this baby it makes me nervous. Anxiety kicks up, I panic a little bit, my day is ruined and then I cry. I don't want it to be this way, and in no way to I regret having another child. Terry deploys somewhere about a month or so after Gavin is to be born. It breaks my heart to know that my husband will be gone for a whole year. I think about all the things Terry will miss, I wonder how the baby reacts when he's finally home, how Terry will adjust to coming home to a wife and TWO kids instead of one. I hate thinking about it, but I can't help it.

And lastly... I'm hungry! I can't help it, but I am! I still haven't gained any weight and actually have lost 14 pounds since my initial pregnancy weigh in. WOOP! I want Thanksgiving SO bad, and I think I might not be able to wait the 9 weeks to make it. Too bad Terry leaves in 2 weeks for another month. So my newest assignment... finding someone to eat my Thanksgiving in October! YUMMM!

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