Tuesday, April 28, 2009


HOORAY!! My vacation starts MONDAY! I have 17 days off total. Ooooh, how exciting! Hopefully I have lots of fun and get to relax at the same time. I'm glad I get this extra time to spend with Terry before he leaves.

Only 28 days until he leaves. Uugghh, I'm nervous.

Monday, April 27, 2009



My son was born prematurely and weighed in at 3 lbs 15.8 oz, 18 1/2 inches long. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU, and trust me, it was the longest most agonizing two weeks of my life. But he was a fighter! He excelled faster than they expected and he came home with no problems thus far. Some preemies are not so lucky, like this little girl. Visit her blog, pray for her and her family.

Kayleighs Story


Yay! I love when I'm productive! We did NOT get moved this weekend, but Terry is going to finish that tomorrow while I'm at work. But we DID:
- Clean out the storage and take and ENTIRE truck load to the dump!
- Sell our "sell-able" things to make some extra cash to get us through til payday!
- Get a DELISH Olallieberry Pie from a little shop in Yuba City!
- Spend some real "FAMILY" time, just the three of us! :)
- Seperate what is going into storage & what goes to Terry's parents.
- Nathyn pooped in the potty THREE times!!!
- Hung out w/ JayBaby (Jason!) until I couldn't hold my eyes open Saturday night. SERIOUSLY needed the talk time! I Love You Boo! haha

Ok, so maybe none of this is a big deal to anybody else, but this is probably the best weekend I've had in a LONG time. I'm hoping that Terry and I have good weekends up until he leaves. We've actually made a few plans... A day boating on the lake, a day at RAGING WATERS, maybe a small weekend camping trip and a few other things Terry wants to do with Nathyn and I before leaving Sacramento. Things are moving along! LOVE IT!

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Everyone already knows that I have like a million neices and nephews from Terry's family, but last weekend, Kia had her baby, being my first "real" nephew (no offense to all my other nephews, I still love you too!). Ta-da! Here he is!

Rhyden Craig Guzman
April 18, 2009 1:03 pm
8 LBS 1 OZ, 20 IN LONG

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Ok, it's not very often I use my blog so rant, so here it goes!
Today, I hit my breaking point! I have realized that I've failed at many things and no, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm more along the lines of pissed at myself for the poor choices I've made. I know life is a "live and learn" type of thing but there are so many things I had the chance to avoid but didn't. I'm also definitely a "the past is the past" type of person, but not when the past follows you like say... DEBT! Oh my goodness, the bills are OUTRAGEOUS! I can't seem to get caught up and I feel like I'm drowning. But who am I to complain? I mean, don't hundreds of thousands of American's deal with it daily? I don't care, they aren't me. I couldn't get a loan on a sack of rice if I tried, my credit is so screwed!

And my car... Lord have mercy on this car, I still need it! It only starts when it wants to, it shuts off in the middle of a left or right turn (YES! in the middle of intersections and on the freeway onramps!), and when you start it in the morning it pumps some serious gas fumes INTO the car for a good 20 minutes! It makes me SICK! The air condition only works 40% of the time, I'm absolutely gonna die this summer. Not good with a toddler in the back seat either. But can I get a loan for a new one or afford a down payment?? HELL NO!

And third... my career. Or lack there of actually. I am 22 years old. I graduated FIVE years ago. And where have I gone? Close to NO WHERE! I started Heald college right out of high school but that only lasted one semester until I moved suddenly WAY farther from my school than I would have liked. Suddenly I had rent and bills and NO JOB! So I quit school (with $3000 of student loans that I STILL haven't paid) and got a job at McDonald's. That lasted until I broke my ankle and ta-da I was fired. I moved around job to job, had a baby and stayed home a while, then I got the job I'm at now. I've been there a little over two years. I love what I do, I love working with the kids. BUT, because of the type of childcare I went into, there really are no opportunities for advancement. And recently, I'm starting to feel like I'm not in the right field. Maybe I just need a change of scenery, I don't know. But I don't have the drive, the desire or the want to get up and go to work anymore. I want to try something new, but I don't have that option at the moment. I feel very stuck.

I need to make changes in my life. BIG ones. I don't feel like the happy-go-lucky girl I was 5 years ago.. 3 years ago.. even last year. I want to help myself, but I'm worried so much about the impact on others that I'm scared to stand up for me. Terry joining the ARMY was a big part of this, and I know that us moving away affects those around us, and I'm sad that there will be people (mostly family) that will be sad after we leave, but it's time we do for US now. This is just the beginning. I am bound and determined to make whatever changes I need to so that we can go back to being a happy family. I don't like bringing stressers from the outside (bills, money, car, work, ect) home with me because it does impact my home life. I'm gonna make it go away, at least the best that I can.

Here's to our new life... Wish us luck.

Friday, April 17, 2009


I think I want to be a photographer now! This was so much fun!

Monday, April 13, 2009


My sister is due in 9 days!! She had an OB appt today and they scheduled her for an induction April 27th if he hasn't popped out by then! :) Eek, I'm excited!

After work tomorrow I'm doing a "photo shoot" of her in all her pregnant glory! We'll change up some outfits, new positions, and maybe even get her to show a little skin! It'll be fun, I can't wait! Maybe I'll post some pictures Wednesday.

That's all for now. Adios!
Here's a picture from today just for fun! Isn't she adorable!?


Another holiday! It's Easter time! This was Nathyn's first "real" Easter. I'd never gotten him an Easter basket before, my Mom always had and then he'd get treats here and there from Easter parties. But this year Terry and I read several books the week before about the Easter Bunny and egg hunting. It was SO cute when Nathyn woke up Easter morning and the first thing I said was "Nathyn! The Easter Bunny came!" He shot up and said "HUH?" and ran to his basket! Here's the basket the Easter Bunny left him.

After that Aunt Tina popped up for an egg hunt. Then when she left my Mom and Kia came over for ANOTHER egg hunt. Nathyn had SO much fun! Then we made our rounds through the town visiting family and eating GREAT food! Here's a few pictures of the little Mister.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Tyler Lee Linderman
April 11th, 2009
8 lbs 6 oz, 21 3/4 in

The birth was a little rough. Ended in C-Section, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice and he had meconium in his lungs. He's in the NICU until either Tuesday or Thursday. Both Christi (Momma, my sister-in-law) and Tyler are doing well!


When is it my turn? :)

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Well, 5 years ago today anyways. My grandpa passed away April 9, 2004 and I honestly can't believe it's been 5 years. My heart aches today, I can't stop thinking about him and I can't stop the tears. I still think to myself how it wasn't fair, it wasn't his time, there was too much left to do and left to see. I miss my Grandpa so much it hurts. I'm sad that he wasn't there when my son was born, that my son won't get to know him and reap the benifets of what a wonderful man he was. I swear when I felt as if no one in the world loved me, my Grandpa did and I swore that no one would ever take that away from me! I'll never forget when I answered the phone and it was a nurse from the hospital; my mom took the call and immediately collapsed. When she mustered up the courage to let her mouth speak those wretched words "Grandpa died!" my heart ripped in two. The tears filled my eyes but I held them in. I had to be strong. I went to his side in the hospital room, I stayed there for hours. I held his hand and stroked the softest hair I'd ever felt, I kissed his cheek, rested my head on his chest. Heaven was truly blessed to recieve that Angel that day. I know I'm being selfish but I feel angry every time I need him. I'm ANGRY that he isn't here, I'm ANGRY he left too soon! My Grandpa was supposed to walk me down the isle at my wedding and after he passed, I FEARED that walk. Instead I got married at the courthouse. Terry wants the big wedding just for the ceremony's sake, but I can't do it. It won't be right. My Grandpa won't be there. I dream about him all the time, I'm proud of myself and want to call HIM and I can't. I don't even have a damn picture to hang in my house!! I want him back.. more today than I did 5 years ago....
Please read this ad published in the Sacramento Bee after his passing.


I swear I have like 927 things I want to get done BEFORE Terry leaves. I'm starting to panic! Only 49 days until he leaves...

Thursday, April 2, 2009


I swear that's how my life works! HOORAY, Terry got accepted to join the army. BOO, I get to move again. Poo. It's not all bad though, and it kinda works out for the best. Because Terry is leaving I had to find daycare for Nathyn, someone that can take him to his doctor's appointments and swim lessons and the only person that can do that is Jason. Well, morning commute from where I live to Jason's house and then to work? About an hour! And we all know Kegan is NOT a morning person.

I also found out recently that rent on the place that I'm renting goes up quite a bit during the Summer months to compensate for running the air conditioner. Buuut, I really can't afford that! I already have to pay ALOT for daycare for the month of June (more than what my rent is already), plus Nathyn's birthday is coming up, and I have a HUGE goal to pay off all my credit accounts and save for a decent downpayment on a new (used) car. So I just can't be paying extra money. So what option does that leave me? The in-laws house! Now don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. But it's not my own. :( I'm an adult, but I feel like I'm tossed back to about 16 years old moving in there and they aren't even my real parents! At least this way though I won't have to worry about rent and I can concentrate on paying them bills! AND, it makes my morning commute to Jason's cut in HALF!

So, today is April 1st! No fooling for me, I'm not clever enough. But I'm VERY excited for the month of April! Miss Gracie-Mae is almost 3 months old. I have a Nephew due in 4 days! And another due (to Kia Lynne) in 21 days! I can't wait!!! Baby mania is about to strike! *sigh* I'll post the pictures as soon as they come rollin' out!

I also have new pictures of Nathyn coming soon! :)

Anyways. There's my two steps back!